The following article was posted on rec.boats back in August 1990. I had
forgotten all about it, but found it during a Google search of Deja News
(archived Usenet articles). It is reposted here for your amusement. Enjoy!

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So that Overkill 28 you ordered last winter is sitting in your driveway on its shiny new trailer, and you can hardly wait to get her out on the lake or river for that first spin! By all means, let's get her launched - but we know that you will want to operate her just like the pros do. We here at Redneck Magazine want to help you do just that! So why not take a few minutes to read these tips compiled by an old salt; we guarantee that after you finish this article you'll be whizzing about just like thousands of other power boaters who have been operating their boats for years.

First, we assume your boat is a normal type - that is, she is a deep-vee design, about three-quarters as wide as she is long, and that she has a mill capable of delivering twenty times or more the power required to move the boat - i.e. about 100 to 200 horsepower per ton. These features are required in order to ensure that you will be able to make waves; more about that later.

Of course you can't operate her just as she comes from the showroom floor. There are a few inexpensive accessories you will have to add, most of which are just common-sense safety items. First you'll need dock lines - a minimum of two. These should be at least ten feet long, and should be one-quarter inch yellow polypropylene rope. Of course you'll feel a bit conspicuous at first, because the dock lines used by more experienced boaters are all bleached and frayed, but don't worry: after a few days, yours will look like that too. Remember, you have at least 15 big bills tied up in that boat, isn't it worth spending two or three dollars at your local hardware store to safeguard her? Second, you should have some rubber fenders which you'll put between the boat and the dock, and which at other times you can trail in the water beside the boat. You'll likely have to visit a marine store for these, and while there you can pick up a humourous flag to fly - perhaps a skull-and-crossbones, or a little picture of a cocktail glass!

The third thing you'll need is an anchor. Don't be tempted to buy one at the marine store - theirs are far too heavy and have sharp points that can damage your finish. And we have found that anchors sold in marine stores are very difficult to pull up once they have been set in the bottom of the lake. No, we recommend you follow the practise of most powerboaters and get an orange rubber covered "Navy" type anchor at a hardware or sporting goods store. It should be fairly heavy, say four or five pounds. It's unlikely you'll want to anchor in more than eight or nine feet of water, so you can use one of your dock lines for an anchor line.

At this time, here's a tip about anchoring: if you see another boat anchored in a bay, it's likely he chose that spot because the bottom holds an anchor well, or because there are fish there, or some other desirable reason. Therefore, anchor as close to him as possible - preferably upwind, or off the front of his boat. This is in case his anchor should slip - you wouldn't want him to drift into your boat!

Finally, those are unfamiliar waters out there bunky, and you'd better know where you are going. Most road maps show the parts of the waterways you'll want to operate on, so have one aboard - just common sense! For longer trips, here's a little known tip: the government publishes a neat map called "Index to Charts" which shows all the big lakes and rivers, and has keen yachty-looking lines and numbers on it - and it's free! Pick up two or three at a marine store, or the Coast Guard exhibition at the next boat show, as you'll want one for your rec room wall!

Now let's get that beauty underway. First, let's see how to operate when leaving or approaching a dock. This is quite simple - you've got lots of power, why not use it? Always approach or leave a dock at about three-quarter throttle. As you need to bring her to a stop, throttle back about 20 feet off the dock, then give her full reverse. You'll want to operate around docks a lot anyway, to kind of show her off, and if you come into a docking area too slowly, chances are someone will beat you to the spot you want. We'd suggest that for your first spin, you take a few passes at high speed about fifty feet off a public docking area or swimming beach, and try a few tight turns so you can jump your own wake. You'll be the center of attention!

Remember, when tying up, try to position your boat so that the maximum possible length of dock is cut off - a good rule is that two powerboats ought to occupy a space that could accommodate three boats their size. This will ensure that another boat can't tie up too close and possibly damage yours. Besides, it's definitely "De Rigour" to have a big radio aboard playing rock music at full volume, and it is considerate to leave a bit of space between your boat and the next!

When operating your boat in open water, the rule again is - top speed at all times! It's a real kindness to folks sitting on a river bank or in a rowboat, to flash by with real class: their day will be more memorable. If you should see a small sailboat or canoe, you should try to pass them fairly close for the same reason. Folks who operate these slower, primitive craft do so because they like the thrill of riding over waves - and remember, the design and power of your boat ensures that she will make waves like Cape Horn in winter! It's particularly thrilling for a small craft with young children aboard to ride over the big wake left by a powerboat at speed (you were a kid yourself once, remember). They'll probably give you the traditional boaters' salute, a clenched fist waved about overhead!

Well that's about all you'll need to know for your first spin. As time goes on, you'll become more proficient; but remember, you're out there to have fun. As long as you've got power to burn, it's not necessary to spend boring hours learning things which aren't fun to do. And next winter, while waiting for those warm days and blue water, you can pick up a few accessories that will add to your boating enjoyment, like a chromium horn that plays a little tune, or a gimballed beer-bottle holder, or place mats with anchors on them - the list is endless.

There's a whole new watery world out there, and if you've got the bucks, you're entitled to enjoy it. Good boating!

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 David O. Tinker                    |   E-Mail address:
 4311 Granville Road, Box 2030A,    |         dtinker@tartannet.ns.ca
 RR 2, Granville Ferry, Nova Scotia |   Alternate E-Mail address:
 B0S 1K0                            |         dtinker@blunile.guild.org
                                    |   Voice: (902) 532-2916
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    The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
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